Not Caring 101

So, the last time I wrote about the Zach-capades I was going crazy. Bellvue had been called. A room was being readied.

I was thinking about arranging an accidental butt dial and questioning whether or not I was losing my mind. 

I had even started to do some Facebook stalking... Which I was too ashamed about to disclose at my last writing. 

I know. 

I know.

Facebook stalking only makes things worse.

Luckily, I got over that fairly quickly and put myself on a no-Facebook-stalking-generally-stop-acting-like-a-lunatic regiment. 

This involved working longer hours than usual, (which was fine because I have been busier than a bird dog); finally getting around to studying for a test I have to take; going for a run anytime I even considered FB stalking; taking more yoga classes; baking (which thanks to the running and yoga hasn't made me fat); and joining a new dating site, Plenty of Fish; and actually going on new dates (this blog isn't going to write itself).

As an aside, I think I do not care for POF (which is what the sender is listed as when they email me). The men on the site are weirdos. With a name like POF am I surprised it attracts odd balls? Thus far I have had a swinger; a guy named "Tomato" who sent me a picture of just his stomach, which, incidentally, did look like a tomato; a guy I blocked on OKCupid; a 68 year old man who is "just looking for a good time", excuse me while I vomit; and a 24 year old with 3 kids looking to settle down.

I had stopped waking up in the middle of the night wondering if Zach had called. I had stopped compulsively checking my phone in hopes of a text message. I had gotten to the point of fully never expecting to hear from him again.
And I was pretty much ok with it.
And patting myself on the back for coming out of my crazy funk relatively unscathed.

Until Wednesday night.
Sprinkles and I were lounging on the couch catching up on Boardwalk Empire, recovering from a run, and eating the new Peanut Butter Cheerios out of a mixing bowl I had swiped from my Mother.
The stop acting like a crazy person regiment didn't include doing dishes.

Obviously, I was doing well.
I was getting excited about the little things again.
I mean come on! Peanut Butter Cheerios?!?!
I love peanut butter and Cheerios are the only cereal I willingly eat.
And enough time to sit on my couch and actually WATCH Boardwalk Empire, not just listen to it as I did other things.
Life. Was. AHHHHH-SOME!

And then BOOM.
Or more likely "quack" cause that's the sound my phone makes when people text me.
There, lighting up my screen was a text from "Zach from Beer Olympics"

Wonders never cease.

"Hey! Sorry I didn't hang out at all this weekend. I ended up in San Diego. Yes. By choice."
I wasn't sure what the by choice part meant. I go to SD all the time by choice! That city is fun, and my friend Katie lives there so that makes it doubly fun!
Then he sent a picture of all his hair laying on the floor after his hair cut.
"I'm leaving for Kentucky on Friday. Anything you want/need?"

And I didn't respond. I was determined to be the Ice Queen. And I was not about to let him think I was sitting around waiting for him to call me. As if! I am very busy and important. In fact right now, I am having dinner with Nucky and Margaret! So what if it is cereal from a mixing bowl?
What's even more impressive is I didn't get overly excited about this development.

Three hours later I texted him back. On the advice of more than one dude I kept it simple.
"Possibly. Are you checking a bag?" I texted.
I didn't comment on his hair cut.
I didn't acknowledge the the no-show on the weekend.
I am pretty sure there was an icy chill traveling through the phone and Paul Abdul's Cold Hearted Snake was playing in the background.
He responded almost immediately. "Yep. I'm bringing back Bourbon Barrel Ale and bourbon."

And yet again I didn't respond immediately. He was talking about two of my favorite things! Bourbon Barrel and Bourbon! I deserve a medal!
 I did however text a few people to tell them I hadn't responded and that they should be proud of me.

The next morning I finally responded with, "Hmmm... probably no room for moonshine then with all that other liquid."
"The bag will be mostly liquid." He texted back.

After work as I waited for my yoga class to start I finally responded.
"How do you feel about bringing back some moonshine for me? I'll have it packaged so it doesn't arouse suspicion."
"I'm game to try. Can it be dropped off at my hotel?"
"Sure."
"Could I get a quart for myself from your supplier?"
"I'll have to check." I said knowing full well my Dad has a nice stock of moonshine at the house and he would give him some if I asked. But I wasn't really sure I wanted to share the moonshine. Especially not with Mr. Disappearing Act. But he was bringing me moonshine, so I shouldn't be greedy... GAH!
"Ok. Just let me know. We are staying at blahbitty, blah, blah near campus."

I was shocking myself with my "whatever" attitude and all the not replying I was doing.
I went to yoga and had a great sweaty workout. During the workout I actually managed to meditate, and not on ways to get Zach to call me. I cleared my mind and created some space in my body and felt very zen.
I am sooooo California...
I felt much more like myself than I had felt in awhile.
I felt like I was really back to normal-Crigger and I wasn't going to be stuck as the twittery,-freaking out-crazy-Crigger I had almost become.

As I drove home from yoga I called my Mom and relayed the plans for getting my moonshine to Zach. She was going to be in Lexington, so she was more than happy to go drop the moonshine off to Zach.
She claimed she was going shopping and had been planning to go for awhile.
Sure you were, Mom. Sure you were. I know that move. Shoot! I've used that move! I am my mother's daughter! 

After she and I hung up I jumped into the shower and did the world's fastest get ready so I could meet my friend Evan at a concert.

I was soooo excited about this concert! I just needed a night out! I need to have some fun. Drink some bourbon. Hear some live music. And bounce around with 200 strangers to an albino Muslim rapper.
(Brother Ali is great by the way, and you should all check him out.)

Ev and I met in the parking lot of the concert and as we walked in we lamented that we didn't have dredlocks or Chuck Taylors like our fellow concert goers.
"It is still gonna be awesome though!" I squeeled.
"You owe me one."
"Absolutely! Whatever you want to see! I'm totally down!"
"Yelawolf. October 6th. You are coming."
"Except that. I'm out of town then. But anything else! I swear! I'm there! I'm getting a bourbon. You want anything?" I was going a mile minute. I couldn't have been more excited if I was twins.
"I'm not drinking tonight."
"Well, if I'd known that. I would have made you drive me!"

I got my drink and we headed into the venue. It was a small space, but it had started to fill up and I was already rethinking my brilliant idea to wear my new jeans. Just because it is starting to be fall in other places, doesn't mean that shorts and tank tops aren't still appropriate for a jam-packed room with horrid ventilation in So-Cal.

As we waited for the first act to start Ev and I gossiped about work and tried to figure out if the weight from dredlocks could be attributed more to the dirt that must be holding them together or the actual hair. As we chatted I felt myself becoming more animated. I was so excited to be out! Plus, the bourbon was hitting me quickly thanks to the yoga and no time for dinner. Oh well!  That's what a sober co-worker is for!

Scanning the crowd I saw a guy wearing a Chicago Bears shirt and didn't think much of it. I vaguely thought, "Oh, Zach likes the Bears." and then went back to chatting with Ev.
Then the guy in the Bears shirt drifted back into my line of sight. Hmmm, I recognize that nose. No. No, it can't be... Yep. Yep. That's him. Oh gawd.
"Holy crap Ev!" I whispered. "I think Zach's here. And by think, I mean, he's here."
"What?! Zach-Zach? Where?"
"Yep. That's him. Don't look now, but he is like three people to your right, a little in front of us. He's wearing a Bears shirt and hat."
"BAAAAHAHAHAHAHHA! Do you want to go hide?"
"Absolutely not! I'm not hiding from him! If he sees me. Fine. If he doesn't, that's probably for the better!" I said and I almost believed it.
"Way to be cool, Honey BooBoo." He said sarcastically.
"I feel like he keeps looking over here. You know how you can feel when people are looking at you? Stand right there, I need a collect myself. Oh geeze! I was gesturing like a maniac just a minute ago. He probably saw all that!"
"What are you going to do?" He asked.
"I have no idea. At least he isn't here with another girl!" I said downing my drink. "I am pretty sure I need another drink. You good?"

As I pushed my way through the growing crowd towards the bar I thought, "What are the chances. I've been trying to see this guy for ages and now he is just showing up where I am? Well, at least I am with a dude! He doesn't know Evan is my married BFF from work, though if he sees me and I introduce them he will know who he is, cause I've talked about him before! I hope he is watching me walk across this room!"
"Maker's and diet please."
"$9." said the bartender.
$9 For a Maker's and diet!!! I can buy a 5th for $15. Robbing me blind Cali! I thought as I handed over a $20.

As I made my way back over to Evan my phone quacked with a text. I assumed it was Alexis or my Mom. Nope, it was Zach.
"U at a concert by chance? Thought I saw someone that really resembled you." He texted.

"Ev, look at this! What do I say?" I said showing him the message.
"What about this?" I said typing, "Ummm yeah... Stalk me much. Are you at the Brother Ali show?" I texted.
"Hahahaha. What are you doing at a Bro Ali show? And yes I am." He replied.
"My musical tastes are teasingly diverse." As I typed someone reached out and touched my hand.
I looked up, it was Zach.
Cue heart flutter and stars in my eyes.

And then he did this thing that he does alot and I find endlessly charming and child-like precious at the same time. He pointed to me, then pointed to himself and kind of raised one eyebrow in sort of a fancy meeting you here gesture.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"I'm getting ready to listen to some music. I'm here with my friend Ev. This is Evan, you've heard me talk about him." So much for letting him think you are on a date Crigger. "What are you doing here?"
"No, no. This is my scene. I am completely shocked you are here. Pleasantly so, but shocked." He said smiling. "Can you name three of his songs?"
"Yes. I can. But I am handicapped in this area. I will know a band's whole ucatalogue, and be able to sing it to you word for word, and have no idea what their name is. Case in point, was crushed when I realized Of Monsters and Men had been here because I love them and just didn't actually know their name. My friends love to play 'Crigger sing this song'. Kelly and Phil once called me in the middle of the night so I could sing Gin and Juice for them. But back to your earlier question, Forest Whitaker and Looking at ya Sideways.... Hmmm.... well that's all I've got. And the only reason I know those two names are because they happen to be on my iPhone." I said. Way to keep it brief, you Ice Queen, you. 

Ev and I hung out with Zach and his friend for the rest of the concert and it was fun and nice and easy.
How things should be.
After the concert we stood in the parking lot chatting for ages about random things and just kind of catching up, which shed some light on why he had been a bit MIA, without me ever really having to ask.
The parking lot was completely empty when I finally opened my door and made real moves to leave.
As he leaned in for a hug I said, "You don't want to hug me. I am super sweaty."
"I don't care. I am too." He said wrapping his arms around me.
"No, but I have the world's most efficient self-cooling system." I said kind of trying to pull away as he tightened his grip. "I didn't need to go to yoga this afternoon, I could have just come here."
"You are sweaty." He said laughing as he ran his hands up and down my back. "Ooops. I missed a spot." He said smiling as he ran his hand over my back again.

And here comes the really good part.
Standing there in my damp white t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops in the weird orange-y glow of the parking lot lights he bent down and kissed me.
It was the kind of kiss that makes you smile before its even over.

Momma Crigger always says it happens when you least expect it and I believe that.
You fall for people in the small moments.
The kisses in a parking lot. The bonding over owning the same t-shirt. The shared glass of  moonshine. The random discovery that you have something completely obscure in common.

Maybe these are the things that fairy tales are made of...
I don't know how this ends yet, and even if things don't end how I want them to, they will end how they are supposed to.
If nothing else, it was an amazing night full of luck, serendipity and hope.