Intriguing

I met Nathaniel when he called and scheduled a meeting with me at work. During our initial meeting I sussed out pretty quickly that his company probably wasn't going to be able to help me much, and that was fine, because so was he. I make it a pretty firm rule to not date anyone with whom I'm doing business. He took the "thanks, but no thanks" like champ, and that isn't always the case. He even followed up with an email letting me know how the restaurant I had recommended turned out.

That email spawned about a week's worth of flirty emails back and forth and eventually a happy hour invite with the promise to call me to sort out the details. True to his word, he called me that night and after a fun and flirty phone call we settled on drinks at a bar I love in my old neighborhood in Santa Ana. It had somehow become a running joke about getting him to venture out of Laguna. 

The day of our happy hour date he texted to say he needed to cancel because he had to go to LA for work. I texted back, "That's fine and completely understandable. Another time."

Over the next week a few hap-hazard attempts were made to reschedule, but it never worked out and I kind of forgot about him.

A few weeks later, I ran into him at an event where I was serving as one of the panelists. I managed a quick wave, but was literally surrounded by people who wanted to talk to me (Now I know how Lady Gaga feels...), so I couldn't actually talk to him.

Oh well. 

That brief run-in spawned another round of flirty emails.
Here we go again. A lot of build up, and little to no follow through. I thought as I typed another coy line.

It was in one of these emails that I mentioned I was having people over for Memorial Day and he was welcomed to come.
He said thanks, but he would be in San Francisco most of the weekend.
So that was that.
Handsome.
Successful.
In my field, but not a direct competitor.
And, never gonna happen.
Dang it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I headed back to my house on Sunday of of Memorial Day Weekend my phone rang. Glancing down, not recognizing the number, but being concerned that a work project wasn't going as planned, (nothing was on this project) I answered.
"Hello, this is Mackenzie."
"Wow. Someone is formal." said Nate with a laugh.
"Oh! Hey! This isn't your usual number... I thought you were going to be a guy from work calling to ruin my day by telling me something awful had happened on a project."
"Nope. I'm calling from my personal phone. I am just getting back to the OC and I was going to see if the party plans were still going."
"They are indeed. I'm on my way home right now to start drinking. The party will probably kick off in a few hours."
"Great! I'll try to come by. I'm supposed to hang out with a few friends."
"Well, they are welcomed to comes as well. The more the merrier!" I said hanging up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Around 10:30 that night Nate and his three friends showed up on my doorstep to a party that was going full force. We had made our way in from the beach and we were just setting up drinking Jenga and eating the last of the open bag of marshmallows. I had nearly given up that he was coming, despite his text messages to the contrary, so when he walked in, I was pleasantly surprised.

We spent the rest of the evening congregated in the kitchen alternatively sitting on bar stools, leaning against cabinets and perching on counters as our friends slowly mixed.
It was nice. And it never occurred to me to brush my beach bonfire wind blown hair, or change out of my sandy leggings and v-necked shirt.

Eventually, the party thinned out with people claiming couches, calling cabs, or staggering to the local bars. I hugged Nate, and told him to give me a call and we'd hang out again.
But once again I didn't really know whether or not expect his call.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Imagine my surprise when he called the next day to say thanks for including him and his friends in the festivities and also to invite me over to his house in Laguna Beach to watch the new season of Arrested Development. At this point I still had a few hung over stragglers in my apartment, so I told him I'd have to let him know and went back to watching Arrested Development with Jesse.

Eventually, Jesse left and I called Nate to tell him I was free for the rest of the day if the offer was still open.
"Come on over! I'm just hanging out. I'll text you my address."
"Sounds good. See you soon." I said hanging up the phone and hopping in the shower.

I brushed on a little make up, half dried my hair so it had a nice wave to it, but didn't look like I was trying too hard, and slipped on a pair of skinny black jeans and a striped top.
Perfectly casual I thought, slipping on flip-slops and grabbing my leather jacket in case it was cold that evening.

"I know you don't like vodka, and that's pretty much all I have." said Nate after he'd given me a tour of his apartment.
"No worries, I brought a bottle of wine." I said pulling it out of my purse. "Do you have glasses."
"Yep." he said reaching to take the bottle from me and opening it. "They are just behind you. Can you grab them."
"Sure." I said opening the door to the cabinet.
"How far along in Arrested are you?"
"Pretty far... It is so much funnier now that I live here. I can't stop watching it!"
"Want to watch some?"
"Of course! That's why I'm here. It has nothing to do with the company." I said with a wink over my shoulder as I led the way into the living room.

Dang it!  I should have let him lead the way. Now I have to figure out where to sit. If I sit in the chair, that kind of says don't sit near me. But if I sit on the couch, maybe that says something too. Maybe this doesn't even matter and we really are just buddies who like the same TV shows...

"Ahhh... watching Mad Men?" I said sitting down on the couch.
"Yep. Nearly finished with the episode. Do you mind?" He said taking the chair.
"Nope. Not at all. I watched it this morning with the hung-over crowd. It's a good one."

Three episodes of Arrested Development later we decided it was time for dinner and walked down the street to a restaurant with a great outdoor patio overlooking the ocean.
"Let's walk down to that little view point first before we go in." Nate said motioning about 50 feet on down the sidewalk.
"Is that where you are going to kill me and toss my body into the ocean."
"I figured I'd let you eat first."
"That's nice of you." I said stepping into the gazebo set up at the view point. "Its so gorgeous here." I said as we took in the last of the sunset.
"Yeah. I try to walk down here and  to the boardwalk everyday. If I don't I feel like I'm missing something."
"I know what you mean. If I don't at least see the ocean everyday I feel like I'm not taking advantage of where I live!" I said smiling up at him.
"Yeah..." he said, trailing off as an Indian couple walked into the gazebo. "Ready to head to the restaurant?"
"Sure." I said following him up the short path to the restaurant patio.

We ordered drinks and food and settled in under the heaters with the waves crashing down below.
"Are you warm enough?" he asked reaching over and rubbing my arm.
"Oh yeah. I'm fine. My jacket is warm, despite the run in with Wolverine." I said raising my arm to show him the tears in the fabric that were the result of an unfortunate fight I had with a moving walk-way in Vegas.
"How did that happen?" Nate asked wide-eyed.
"It was mostly karma biting me in the bum." I said launching into a story that makes me sound evil.
"You are horrible." he said with a laugh. "I hope I'm never in a wheel chair and depending on you for help!"
"I know! I know! I told you the story makes me sound like a horrible human!" I wailed.

We talked on about our families, how we ended up doing what we are doing, cities we love, wedding toasts we have given, worst jobs we've had, and the time just flew by.

"Not that I wasn't before, but I am even more intrigued by you after hearing all your stories." Nate said as we waited for the check.
"That is one of the most flattering things I've ever been told." I said smiling. He's either extremely honest, or extremely smooth, but regardless, that is extremely flattering. 
"Let's go down to Nick's. They have a great Moscow Mule and I owe you one since I never met you for Happy Hour at the place in Santa Ana." He said standing up.
"Yes, you do! But I bet their Moscow Mule isn't as good as Chapter One's! A guy with a handlebar mustache makes it for there, and that makes all the difference!"

We headed down the boardwalk and kept chatting the whole way. There weren't any awkward pauses with us trying to fill the silence. It was easy, and fun.

Arriving at Nick's, Nate ordered us two Moscow Mules and we continued on the date that I wasn't initially sure was a date, but we pretty sure now it was since he bought my dinner.

An hour later we finished our Moscow Mules and decided to head back to his house since it was getting late and we both had to work the next day. Walking back along the virtually deserted boardwalk Nate pulled me to stop and turned to face me.

"I'm not sure this is the right place to do this, but... what the hell." he said putting one hand on my cheek and bending down to kiss me.
Yes... kissing me on the boardwalk in Laguna Beach is clearly the wrong place. If this is the wrong place, I'm not sure where the right place is? A canal in Venice? Under the Eiffel Tower? On the back of an elephant in India? Hmmmm... he's a pretty good kisser.

We continued to kiss on the boardwalk, his hands getting tangled in my hair, for a few more minutes. I could hear footsteps passing us on the boardwalk and a couple out walking their dog. It never occurred to me tone down our PDA, and I am not one for PDAs.

Eventually, we stopped kissing and continued our walk back to Nate's house hand in hand.
"Well... I'll see you later." I said digging in my purse for my car keys.
"Wait. You can't leave. We still have the final episode of Arrested Development to watch!"
"It's late... and you have to work early and so do I."
"It's one episode."
"I'm so sleepy though. I'll fall asleep."
"Come on. One more episode. You know you want to know what happens." Nate said pulling me gently toward the stairs.
"Ok. Fine. But if I fall asleep its your fault."

True to my word, I fell asleep and woke up to the Arrested Development theme song being played and my head resting on Nate's chest.
"I have to go home." I said softly to Nate who was also asleep.
"No you don't. Just sleep here." he muttered hugging me and kissing my forehead.
"I can't sleep here. I don't have pajamas. And I'm not sleeping in these jeans. They have like a million zippers." I said sitting up.
"OK... Fine... I"ll walk you out." Nate said standing up and stretching. "But you really can stay here. I'll sleep on the couch."
"That's a nice offer. But I need to go home." I said putting on my jacket.

Nate kissed me again as he opened my car door, and waved me out of his drive.
As I drove down PCH I wondered, Could I date him? Yes. I decided. I definitely could. Would he date me? Will this go anywhere? Or will it be like my other amazing date in Laguna that went no where fast?

I'm glad it wasn't personal. Part 2

So after an awkward dance of avoiding one another (at least on my end) at kickball on Monday I called my Mom to fill her in on the events of the previous evening.
"Mackenzie. If you want to talk to him. Talk to him." said my Mother, ever the cut-and-dry, voice of reason and practicality in my life.
"I know. I should just talk to him. But he has my phone number and he stopped talking to me. If he wanted to talk to me, he would." Even as I said it I knew I sounded like petulant child.
"Well, Mackenzie, you know how I feel about that nonsense. If you want to talk to him. Talk to him. And when you do, tell him I said hello." Some of you readers may remember Mom met Zach in Kentucky.
"I'm calling Courtney." I said hanging up and dialing my best friend's phone number.

"Well, I don't think he deserves a phone call from you after the way he acted." She said once hearing the story and learning that I was considering calling him in an attempt to clear the air.
"Yeah. Maybe not. But I don't want things to be weird every single time I see him."
"I know. But he seems like an idiot."
"You may be right. I'll sleep on it."

I woke up glad I hadn't called him, but still feeling like I wanted to reach out somehow.
I know! I'll send out a text, inviting people over for the 4th of July BBQ.

The text looked something like this:
"Hey guys! Having a BBQ/house party on the 4th. Feel free to come by. If you want something other than bourbon or tofu, bring it!"

And then I waited.

A few hours later I got this response from Zach
"Thanks! By the way who is this? (New phone)

Really... Who is this? Did you also lose you power of deductive reasoning when you lost your phone? Who else do you know out here that eats tofu and drinks bourbon? I'm not replying to this right now. This moron can wait. 

Finally, a few hours later, at the encouragement of my friend Dana, I text him back.
"It's Mackenzie."
"Heeeeeeey yo. How are you?" was his nearly instant text back.
"I'm really good! How are you?"
"I'm glad the work week is over. What makes you 'really' good. Saw your friend a 2-3 weeks ago."
I wasn't aware I needed a reason to be really good... And you saw my friend 2-3 weeks ago? YOU SAW ME TWO NIGHTS AGO YOU BIG IDIOT! Was he pretending not to see me, or did he really not see me... Boys are weirdos.
"Which friend?" I asked playing dumb since I already knew he had seen Allison two weeks ago at kickball. "And life is just going really great right now. Work is amazing. My family was out for a bit, I've had a steady stream of friends visiting."
"The one from AZ. Totally forgot her name. Awesome about the family coming out."
"OH! Allison. Yeah. She and I live together now."
"So it did work out? Where did you find a place?"
"Yep. We are on the peninsula." And you should already know that because my address was in the original text message!
"Jealous."
"Well you are welcome to visit any time. We have an extra parking space."
"Hahahaha. The parking space element humored me."
It humored you did it? Interesting choice of words... "Down here that is a real selling point."
"Well congrats on the new joint!"

As Zach and I continued to text each other Dana and I chatted about the whole weird situation.
"I couldn't not ask why he stopped calling." said Dana.
"I usually don't want to know. I'm usually glad when people disappear! I'm usually the one trying to vanish! I pretend that when I stop dating someone they cease to exist. The not knowing in this instant does drive me crazy though!"
"Ask him!"
"Ok! I'm doing it!"

"So... why did you stop calling me?" I texted.
"I can't point an exact finger on it. But work slammed me, and pretty much has since then. And I traveled alot, and I guess out of sight out of mind, as shitty as that sounds."
"Well, I'm glad it wasn't personal." I always kind of worried he had heard about the blog or something.
"No. Besides the cat. I was pushing my own boundaries with that."
WHAT! You mean to tell me that you stopped dating me because I had a cat! WTH! And every time you came over you played with Sprinkles and acted like you liked him. Oh good grief. This is ridiculous. 

But instead of flipping out I responded with this. Which I found hilarious.

Evidently, he didn't find it quite so humorous because he didn't respond.

Oh well. 

The next day, while lying on the beach with Dana, Kelsey, and Allison my phone buzzed.

"Well, well, well... guess who just text me asking if he can come over?"

"Zach?!" they all said.

"Yep."

"What are you going to say?" asked Kelsey.

"I'm going to tell him sure." I said typing out the message.

"Cool. Rolling deep?" He typed back.

"Fine." I text, assuming he meant he was bringing some friends over as well.

"Rolling deep? Who says that? Where are we? Compton?" asked Kelsey when I read his reply.

"Well I guess we can assume he's bringing friends... And on that note, I should probably shower." I said standing up and dusting the sand from my legs. "And maybe shave my legs..."

As the evening wore on and more friends congregated, Zach never showed. But I didn't really care. I was having fun with my friends. Eventually I got a text from him saying they'd gotten stuck at a bar about a mile from my house and apologizing. 

Dana texted back from my phone, "Fine." 

And for once, it really was fine. 

I'm sure I'll see him at kickball again, and maybe we'll chat and things won't be weird. 

Or maybe we'll chat and things will be super weird. Maybe we won't even chat at all. 

But regardless of what happens, it really will be fine. 

I'm glad it wasn't personal...

It seems most fitting that Zach, Mr.-I-would-be-honored-to-take-you-out-sometime, would rear his curly head this time of year.

Its right around a year ago now that I met him at a party. 

Then agreed to go on a date with him a full three weeks after he called to ask me out. 

I had such a good time on the date I initially didn't even really want to go on, that I proceeded him.
And only him. 

I fell HARD. People have jumped off buildings and had softer landings.

Then POOF! 

He vanished.

VAAAAN----ISHED.

I am an extremely proud person, so I never asked why. I assumed he'd met someone, (someone obviously not as great as me, because who is right?) but she clearly had more of what he wanted. 

Fine. Eff it. Whatevs. His loss.

I told myself all the things we all tell ourselves in these situations. But, I knew deep down that he could have called me and said "Hey. Wanna go out?" and I would have rearranged my whole life to make that date. 

Pathetic? 

Yes.

True?

Certainly. Pathetically true...

I wish I could have at  least pretended to myself I would have had the gumption to drop an "As if!" or agree to meet him and then stand him up.
Let's be real. That was not going to happen.

So how did our paths cross again after so many months of them not crossing?

The same way they crossed last summer.

Kickball.

Yes. I play kickball. Well, more accurately. I show up at the games and sometimes I don't panic when a ball comes flying at me.

Zach and I don't usually play in the same kickball league, but in the summer my league in Irvine closes and we go play in the Huntington Beach league, which is where his team plays. I knew this going into the summer season, but the HB league is HUGE. So the chances of us actually seeing one another were pretty slim. 

Or so I thought. 

As luck would have it, our teams are in the same division. 

And guess which teams played each other first...

YEP. 

Our teams.

I ended up missing the initial game because I was out of town at a conference. And I'm kinda sad about that. That could have created some serious shock value.

And I didn't want him to think I had skipped the game because we were playing his team. 

Nobody keeps Crigger from playing kickball!

Except the coach. When it isn't my turn to play.

So, for the second game of the season, or my first, I roll up to the field looking all sporty-cute. 

Or at least trying to. I'm not terribly sporty.

It was July 4th week so I have on my red Transylvania University sweatshirt and my blue shorts with white stars. These shorts are the smallest shorts on the planet. I have underwear that covers more.

But wearing ridiculous things to kickball is part of the fun. 

And I was in an attention seeking mood. 

When Allison and I walked up the field the very first person I see is Zack kicking a soccer ball around with one of his friends. 

This is the precise moment that I turn into extremely awkward Crigger. 

Does he see me? I hope so! No! I hope he doesn't! What am I going to say if talks to me? I need something prepared. Oh, geeze. He looked my way. Look away quick. Don't make eye contact! Did he see me staring? Is he looking at me? Should I wave? No, definitely not. Can he recognize me from over there? Well, I walked up with Allison, who talked to him last week, so if he saw her then he saw me and he must recognize me. Oh, my gosh. What am I going to do? He is still really cute. Why did he stop calling me? I should just walk over and say hello. NO. Don't do that! If he wanted to talk to you he would have called. He still has your number. Unless he deleted it. Or lost his phone. Stop it Crigger. Stop being a giant weirdo right now. Is he going to talk me? I hope! I'll snub him! No! I'll talk to him. Maybe he'll ask me out again. But do I want to go out with him? I shouldn't! He disappeared! Ugh... 

And this continued until I had to go find the field my team was playing on. 

Which was right beside the field his team was playing on. 

We were so close we were sharing an outfield.

And still neither of us made eye contact.

Everytime someone yelled "Crigger!" or "Kentucky" I simultaneously hoped he was looking for me and prayed he wasn't.
Our games ended, and as I milled around on the field I watched him and his friend head off.
Well, I'll probably see him at the bar...

As Allison, Mere and I stood in line to get into the bar, Zach and his friend walked up to survey the line. I kept my back to them, enthralled in conversation with the girls (yeah...) and assumed they had decided not to wait and headed to another bar.
Dang it. There goes that surprise run-in idea...

"Did you see who's in line?" asked Allison twirling me around.
"Oh geeze! Yes. I saw him." I hissed whirling back around.
"Saw who?" asked Mere.
"This guy I went out with a bunch and really liked. And he just disappeared." I said.
"OH! Who? Where is he?" Mere asked standing up on her tiptoes and looking around.

"See the guy back there in the electric blue hat and dark curly hair?" said Allison. Turns out Zach and his friend had decided to wait in the line after all.
"Is that him?" asked Mere, turning to face us.
I nodded.
"You can totally do better." She said emphatically.

We stood in the line a bit longer, but grew tired of waiting to get into a jam-packed bar.
"Wanna go to Beachfront?" asked Allison.
"Yeah. I'm tired of waiting." I said stepping out of line and making a move to walk down the street.
Hmmmm... looks like they did get tired of waiting after all. 

As we approached Beachfront, guess who is sitting at the end of the bar.
Yep.
Zach.
"I'm not walking in first." I said stepping back behind Allison and letting her lead the way into the bar.
I deliberately walked by Zach with my head turned toward Mere and saddled up at the opposite end of the bar with a few of our friends who'd decided they couldn't stand the line for Sharkeez either.
"Maker's and diet, and a beer." I told the bartender when we finally managed to get her attention.
Hmm... where is Zach? Not at the end of the bar, not behind me... Maybe he's outside. Maybe he saw me and split.
"Maker's and a beer?" said the bartender pulling me out of that I hope was stealthy observation and not psycho stalker mode.
"Oh yeah. Thanks!" I said turning around and handing her a $20. As I handed her the money my eyes rested on Zach's face. There he stood. Chin on his hand, leaning against the bar, staring straight at me across the bar.
Or at least he seemed to be staring at me. He could have been watching the baseball game for all I know. I got so flustered I tried to dash away from the bar without getting my change.

And awkward Crigger is back with a vengeance.

Instead of acting like an adult an walking across the bar and saying the very controversial, "Hello. How have you been?" I flirted with a guy from Wales, kissed no less than two of my lovely male friends on their cheeks, paraded in front of him to the bathroom, and stopped to talk to one of his teammates who is my friend on my way out of the bar.
All in the hopes that he would see me. And come over and talk to me.
As I stood talking to his teammate who responded with "I really like that guy!" as I told him the saga, Zach glanced our direction. In a moment of bravery I raised my hand in kind of a half wave, that he never saw because he turned his head.
Well... there is that. I guess I deserved that.
"Come take shots with us." Steve said motioning to his table.
"No thanks, we are headed out." I said with a wave.

The next day I called my sister to tell her the drama from the night before.
"Mac, why did you do that? You should have just talked to him."
"I know. But I didn't start this story by saying 'Hey! Let me tell you about a really great decision I made last night!' did I? No. I didn't. There is always next week...?"

And ironically, I didn't have to wait until next week to talk to Zach.
But that's a story for another day.