Ahhhh Memorial Day!
So many things to celebrate!
Veterans! Freedom! Veggie-dogs! Dance parties! Surfer dudes!
The veterans who have defended my freedom so I can dance of a rooftop by the beach while eating a delicious veggie-dog and checking out surfer dudes.*
What about this picture doesn't sound awesome?
If you answered "Nothing!" you are right.
If you are thinking you need to come visit me, you are right again.
When we arrived at the party being thrown by Allison's friend it was about 1:00ish. The party wasn't quite in full swing, but the vodka soaked watermelon was being passed around and a corn hole tournament was kicking off on the sidewalk. Allison and I grabbed seats on the front patio, using our fascination with the corn hole tournament taking place on the sidewalk as a cover to check out every guy that came to the party.
As we lounged in the sun, cheering on the cornholers, and making new friends with the party goers we ranked the guys that strolled in and out.
"Hmmmm... Nice shoulders. Lots of freckles though." said Lane.
"Yeah, he's a little short though." I said.
"Crigger! Listen to yourself! He is taller than you! By like half a foot!" said Allison.
"Really? Are you sure?" I said looking over at the guy standing by the door. "Ok. Fair point. Those who live in short bodies shouldn't cut off other people at the knees."
"Ooooo... Check out the baseball player looking one." murmured Allison. "I just love a baseball player."
"He is cute." said Kristin, eyeing him approvingly.
"I don't like his hat. I hate those flat billed hats. But he he does have a nice butt!" I said.
"His friend looks like Steve-o from Jackass," remarked Allison.
"That's too bad." said Kristin shaking her head.
"Does he have two black eyes? Because the last time I saw Steve-O, he had two black eyes." I said.
"When did you see Steve-O?" asked Lane.
"At the Louisville airport last fall. That's right, I live in the land of stars and I see Steve-O in Kentucky. He was sooooo annoying. He kept playing hackey-sack and I just wanted him to go away."
"Alright. I'm going to get a beer." said Allison as she stood up. "Anyone need anything?"
"No, we're good." we chorused.
As Allison came back out on to the patio with her beer, she stumbled over the raised door frame and fell right into Mr. Baseball's arms.
She swears she didn't plan it, but I don't believe her.
Or maybe I am the only one who plans such shamefully obvious meet-men-ploys.
...Yeah... that is probably more likely.
So while Allison and Mr. Baseball were hitting it off like white on rice over her near miss and his good fortune to catch her, I went inside to find my sweater since the sun had started to set. When I came back outside Allison and Mr. Baseball had been joined by Mr. Baseball's friend, Adrian. Otherwise known as, Steve-O's double, sans tattoos.
"This is my friend Crigger." Allison said. "This is JT (baseball boy) and his friend Adrian (Steve-O, the New Class). They are down visiting a friend who lives on Balboa."
"Oh nice! Balboa is so cute!" I said.
"Niiiiiiiiice? Where are you from? Obviously not here." said JT.
"i'm from Kentucky." I said as I sat down beside Allison on the patio wall.
"Nice sweater," said Steve-O Jr. "I wish I had a sweater. We came to So-Cal expecting it to be warm and it isn't once the sun goes down!"
"Thanks. I always bring a sweater. I'm always cold and the temperature drops quickly."
"Yeah. I should have been more prepared. You both obviously live here, since you brought jackets." said JT. "Why don't you show me your southern hospitality and let me, your future husband, wear your sweater." said Adrian.
"Ummm... negative. On both accounts."
"You are mean." said Adrian.
"I'm not mean. I just came prepared to clothe only myself. Not half the party. And quite frankly, I don't know you well enough to lone you clothing, let alone accept your marriage proposal." I said.
"I actually have two more jackets in my bag. They might be a little tight, but they might work," offered Allison.
"Wow. She is way nicer than you." said JT.
"More prepared for sure." I said with a smile. "But nicer too!"
Allison came back with a long sleeved t-shirt and another zip up hoodie. After several clothing swaps and much laughter of the boys sporting midriff baring, fitted women's hoodies we headed up to the rooftop deck to dance.
Adrian and I did goofy dance moves to entertain each other while Allison and JT made goo-goo eyes at each other.
"Come on. You know you think I'm cute," said Adrian as we faux waltzed to some Katy Perry.
"I think you are pretty funny." I replied.
"But cute too right?"
At this point I couldn't quite tell if Adrian was just being funny, or if he was seriously coming on to me. I hoped he was just joking, because as funny as Steve-O Jr. was I did not find him the least bit appealing.
"I need to go move my car or I'll get blocked in." I said extracting myself from his vise like grip.
"I'll go with you. I don't want you going alone my darling."
"No. Really. I will be fine. I took karate from real ninjas in Japan. And you can see me walking the whole way from up here." I said placing a firm hand on his chest and kind of pushing him away.
"Well at least give me your number so if you aren't back soon I can call you."
"Yeah, give him your number!" Said Allison who had just come over with JT.
"Fine. XXX-XXX-XXXX. I'll be back in like 15 minutes."
As I was walking back to the party from moving my car my phone rang. It was Adrian calling to be sure his "future wife was safe." Which, in hindsight, is a nice gesture, but at the time I found supremely annoying. I walked back up to the roof top and found Allison, JT, and Adrian pretty much where I left them.
"Let's go dance!" Said Adrian dragging me across the roof top.
As we danced I kept trying to extract myself from his grip, but he was like an octopus! I became even more grateful for all the yoga I have done over the years since I could basically backbend away from him to avoid him trying to kiss me.
Once again, I couldn't really tell if he was just trying to be funny or if I was going to have to punch him in order to communicate "I'm just not that into you."
"Adrian, if you don't stop, I'm going to punch you." I finally said after he kissed my teeth. I was backbending and grimacing, and he managed to sneak one in.
"Oh! I like a women with some fire!"
"You'll think fire when I use that tiki torch to light your head on fire." I said ever so sweetly.
By now, Allison, JT, and JT's other friend Chris were ready to go back to their house. Since I was sober and they lived close I offered them a ride and we all piled into my Jeep.
"We could drive the long way around, but this time of night it is probably easier to take the ferry." said Chris.
"Ok. Adrian get your hand off my leg before I break it."
"Oh geeze, she isn't messing around." said JT as he put his arm around Allison's shoulders.
"No. She might kill him." said Allison.
As we pulled on to the ferry Adrian said. "Our first boat trip. Isn't this romantic?"
"Yes. It will be really romantic when I push you overboard and stand on your head." I said with a smile. Probably a very evil one.
When we got to their house, they invited us in for a nightcap. I figured at this point I had earned one for putting up with Adrian so Allison could hang out with his cute friend. Plus, Chris was luring me in with promises of some prohibition whiskey. And we all know how much I love an exotic whiskey. Or any whiskey for that matter...
Thankfully, Adrian passed out almost as soon as we walked in the door and I haven't heard from Adrian since! But Chris plays kickball in a local league and Allison has seen him a few times. I wouldn't mind staying friends with that guy! Anyone who has prohibition whiskey and is willing to share it is A-OK in my book!
*To my American readers: In all seriousness, thank a Veteran, even though Memorial Day is over. We are all able to live in an amazing country full of freedoms many other countries can't even imagine having because of sacrifices they, and their families, have made.
So many things to celebrate!
Veterans! Freedom! Veggie-dogs! Dance parties! Surfer dudes!
The veterans who have defended my freedom so I can dance of a rooftop by the beach while eating a delicious veggie-dog and checking out surfer dudes.*
What about this picture doesn't sound awesome?
If you answered "Nothing!" you are right.
If you are thinking you need to come visit me, you are right again.
When we arrived at the party being thrown by Allison's friend it was about 1:00ish. The party wasn't quite in full swing, but the vodka soaked watermelon was being passed around and a corn hole tournament was kicking off on the sidewalk. Allison and I grabbed seats on the front patio, using our fascination with the corn hole tournament taking place on the sidewalk as a cover to check out every guy that came to the party.
As we lounged in the sun, cheering on the cornholers, and making new friends with the party goers we ranked the guys that strolled in and out.
"Hmmmm... Nice shoulders. Lots of freckles though." said Lane.
"Yeah, he's a little short though." I said.
"Crigger! Listen to yourself! He is taller than you! By like half a foot!" said Allison.
"Really? Are you sure?" I said looking over at the guy standing by the door. "Ok. Fair point. Those who live in short bodies shouldn't cut off other people at the knees."
"Ooooo... Check out the baseball player looking one." murmured Allison. "I just love a baseball player."
"He is cute." said Kristin, eyeing him approvingly.
"I don't like his hat. I hate those flat billed hats. But he he does have a nice butt!" I said.
"His friend looks like Steve-o from Jackass," remarked Allison.
"That's too bad." said Kristin shaking her head.
"Does he have two black eyes? Because the last time I saw Steve-O, he had two black eyes." I said.
"When did you see Steve-O?" asked Lane.
"At the Louisville airport last fall. That's right, I live in the land of stars and I see Steve-O in Kentucky. He was sooooo annoying. He kept playing hackey-sack and I just wanted him to go away."
"Alright. I'm going to get a beer." said Allison as she stood up. "Anyone need anything?"
"No, we're good." we chorused.
As Allison came back out on to the patio with her beer, she stumbled over the raised door frame and fell right into Mr. Baseball's arms.
She swears she didn't plan it, but I don't believe her.
Or maybe I am the only one who plans such shamefully obvious meet-men-ploys.
...Yeah... that is probably more likely.
So while Allison and Mr. Baseball were hitting it off like white on rice over her near miss and his good fortune to catch her, I went inside to find my sweater since the sun had started to set. When I came back outside Allison and Mr. Baseball had been joined by Mr. Baseball's friend, Adrian. Otherwise known as, Steve-O's double, sans tattoos.
"This is my friend Crigger." Allison said. "This is JT (baseball boy) and his friend Adrian (Steve-O, the New Class). They are down visiting a friend who lives on Balboa."
"Oh nice! Balboa is so cute!" I said.
"Niiiiiiiiice? Where are you from? Obviously not here." said JT.
"i'm from Kentucky." I said as I sat down beside Allison on the patio wall.
"Nice sweater," said Steve-O Jr. "I wish I had a sweater. We came to So-Cal expecting it to be warm and it isn't once the sun goes down!"
"Thanks. I always bring a sweater. I'm always cold and the temperature drops quickly."
"Yeah. I should have been more prepared. You both obviously live here, since you brought jackets." said JT. "Why don't you show me your southern hospitality and let me, your future husband, wear your sweater." said Adrian.
"Ummm... negative. On both accounts."
"You are mean." said Adrian.
"I'm not mean. I just came prepared to clothe only myself. Not half the party. And quite frankly, I don't know you well enough to lone you clothing, let alone accept your marriage proposal." I said.
"I actually have two more jackets in my bag. They might be a little tight, but they might work," offered Allison.
"Wow. She is way nicer than you." said JT.
"More prepared for sure." I said with a smile. "But nicer too!"
Allison came back with a long sleeved t-shirt and another zip up hoodie. After several clothing swaps and much laughter of the boys sporting midriff baring, fitted women's hoodies we headed up to the rooftop deck to dance.
Adrian and I did goofy dance moves to entertain each other while Allison and JT made goo-goo eyes at each other.
"Come on. You know you think I'm cute," said Adrian as we faux waltzed to some Katy Perry.
"I think you are pretty funny." I replied.
"But cute too right?"
At this point I couldn't quite tell if Adrian was just being funny, or if he was seriously coming on to me. I hoped he was just joking, because as funny as Steve-O Jr. was I did not find him the least bit appealing.
"I need to go move my car or I'll get blocked in." I said extracting myself from his vise like grip.
"I'll go with you. I don't want you going alone my darling."
"No. Really. I will be fine. I took karate from real ninjas in Japan. And you can see me walking the whole way from up here." I said placing a firm hand on his chest and kind of pushing him away.
"Well at least give me your number so if you aren't back soon I can call you."
"Yeah, give him your number!" Said Allison who had just come over with JT.
"Fine. XXX-XXX-XXXX. I'll be back in like 15 minutes."
As I was walking back to the party from moving my car my phone rang. It was Adrian calling to be sure his "future wife was safe." Which, in hindsight, is a nice gesture, but at the time I found supremely annoying. I walked back up to the roof top and found Allison, JT, and Adrian pretty much where I left them.
"Let's go dance!" Said Adrian dragging me across the roof top.
As we danced I kept trying to extract myself from his grip, but he was like an octopus! I became even more grateful for all the yoga I have done over the years since I could basically backbend away from him to avoid him trying to kiss me.
Once again, I couldn't really tell if he was just trying to be funny or if I was going to have to punch him in order to communicate "I'm just not that into you."
"Adrian, if you don't stop, I'm going to punch you." I finally said after he kissed my teeth. I was backbending and grimacing, and he managed to sneak one in.
"Oh! I like a women with some fire!"
"You'll think fire when I use that tiki torch to light your head on fire." I said ever so sweetly.
By now, Allison, JT, and JT's other friend Chris were ready to go back to their house. Since I was sober and they lived close I offered them a ride and we all piled into my Jeep.
"We could drive the long way around, but this time of night it is probably easier to take the ferry." said Chris.
"Ok. Adrian get your hand off my leg before I break it."
"Oh geeze, she isn't messing around." said JT as he put his arm around Allison's shoulders.
"No. She might kill him." said Allison.
As we pulled on to the ferry Adrian said. "Our first boat trip. Isn't this romantic?"
"Yes. It will be really romantic when I push you overboard and stand on your head." I said with a smile. Probably a very evil one.
When we got to their house, they invited us in for a nightcap. I figured at this point I had earned one for putting up with Adrian so Allison could hang out with his cute friend. Plus, Chris was luring me in with promises of some prohibition whiskey. And we all know how much I love an exotic whiskey. Or any whiskey for that matter...
Thankfully, Adrian passed out almost as soon as we walked in the door and I haven't heard from Adrian since! But Chris plays kickball in a local league and Allison has seen him a few times. I wouldn't mind staying friends with that guy! Anyone who has prohibition whiskey and is willing to share it is A-OK in my book!
*To my American readers: In all seriousness, thank a Veteran, even though Memorial Day is over. We are all able to live in an amazing country full of freedoms many other countries can't even imagine having because of sacrifices they, and their families, have made.
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